it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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