Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
