is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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