at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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