I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
