I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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