Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
