Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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