Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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