I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How external is "for external use only"?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
