Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
