Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
