Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
