Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
