i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
