States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
