nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
