Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
