So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
