ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
