Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
