Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
