the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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