Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
