rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize