Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
only you would photoshop your dick
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
