So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
