He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
