"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
