please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize