turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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