There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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