God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
