I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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