oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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