People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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