halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
