yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
