Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize