He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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