somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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