he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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