we're blogging at a bar
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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