Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it's great music for shaving your balls
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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