Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
