Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
