he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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