If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
