How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All the doctor said was why
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
