Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
