Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
