do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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