Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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