i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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