RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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