I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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