dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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