I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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