While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
