Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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