Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
