"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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