are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize