The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Found the puke drawer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
